I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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