If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
