Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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