out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
