There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
