Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize