Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
