You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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