I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
