My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
