i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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