We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
