grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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