My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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