I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
