everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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