why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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