I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
