He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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