Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
