Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
