i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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