i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
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