small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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