The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
