OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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