Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
