Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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