I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize