We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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