went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
