i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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