I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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