End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
