You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i dont even know how to be here
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
