stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize