I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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