census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
