Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
