someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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