you guys were way drunker than both of me
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize