obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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