Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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