thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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