Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
