The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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