Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
