You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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