she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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