Three words: puerto rican gang bang
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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