1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize