no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
my poor anus
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
