i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
