i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
