No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
