Is it normal to miss your booty call?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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