I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize