If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
