He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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