I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
