pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Did I show you my penis last night?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
how does that bad decision feel?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize